Stress.

Many of us feel it.

It’s the silent soundtrack of modern ambition.

The racing thought just as we’re falling asleep. The tension in our shoulders and core as we start writing another application.It sneaks into our mornings, our deadlines, and even our celebrations.And often, we don’t talk about it until it boils over.

We tell ourselves it’ll all go away once we arrive.

I’ll be happy when:

• 🗣️: I’ll get a First-class degree.

• 🗣️: I’ll get a training contract.

• 🗣️: I’ll make six figures.

• 🗣️: I’ll finally qualify.

But research tells a different story: In 2006, at Harvard University, psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar noticed something strange. His high-achieving students, those destined for the world’s top firms, were unhappy.

They hit goal after goal, but happiness kept moving just out of reach.He called it the arrival fallacy: the illusion that fulfilment lives on the other side of achievement.

Many of us live this way, constantly chasing and rarely arriving.

Aside from pausing and zooming out, here are two ideas to work with:

1. Let go of what you can’t control.

Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome, faced the plague, war, and personal loss. Yet he remained calm and just. He practiced Stoicism, a philosophy that teaches us to accept what we cannot change and to focus on what is within our control.

2. Seek purpose, not just productivity.

Purpose is your compass. Without it, you’ll drift in a sea of endless tasks. With it, even hard days feel meaningful. Purpose doesn’t have to be grand, it just has to be yours. Some find it through work, while others find it through relationships, hobbies, or spiritual beliefs.

If you take away anything from this, let it be this:You don’t have to delay joy until you “make it”. You’re allowed to feel joy and be ambitious. One doesn’t cancel out the other.

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